Ravings for Remedies

Let’s just say it was hot! Yesterday it reached 42°C (108°F) and it seemed that Pirate Bay was the worst beach to set our tent upon for a New Years Eve celebration. But what made this adventure a potential threat? Let me fill in the blanks.

Firstly, the cumbersome gear we loaded our bodies with and trudged through loose sand to fulfill some idealistic vision of how New Years Eve ’should’ be celebrated. By the time we’d walked along the pestilent pathway, we sought nothing more than the ocean itself, yet we were still so far from it. Simply the weight of what we carried to the beach, was not something to be done in sweltering heat and each step taunted us. From the low cliff, I angrily threw the gear down to the sand and feeling faint, climbed down to go set up the tent. The ability to look out for our puppy – being so very much smaller, could be carried out or drown in the undertow – made the experience even less enjoyable; he was as exhausted as we were. Furthermore, we were lamenting the 2.5Litre water supply we brought, not enough for two people in such conditions and with Zappy to consider, that water dispersed quickly.

Feeling possibly the worst of us all, Special K had to exorcise some demons behind the dunes and as I carried the entire collection of crap to an unshaded spot on very hot sand, I could not simply stand it any longer; I needed to find shade and located a small cutting in the crumbling sandstone cliff. Though I noticed the spider webs strung out and hanging like vines between the crags, I pushed it out of my mind, what mattered was survival. Zappy lay at my feet, breathless, while I took some water and shared it with our puppy. Special K returned exhausted, teary and wanting very much for the idea to remain of a perfect champagne NYE. After more water, I threw myself out into the heat and set up the tent with help from Special K. It really was pointless, the tent was hotter than the beach itself and all it accomplished was to sap our strength even further. Zappy was entertained as long as he didn’t go anywhere near the water; the tide frightened him. We were just happy to have some cold water around our legs, but it would not suffice. It became a moment of choice – dehydration and fainting with possible death thrown in or load up, get back to the car and go rejoin civilisation. We opted for the latter.

Though even in such potentially dangerous conditions, evidentially our love for each other proved the selflessness of our characters, i.e. we put our partner before ourselves. ‘I want you to have a mouthful’ my dear lady said, after I’d argued the point. This beautiful interchange made us even more determined to get back and kiss with full lips.

Foolish, over weighed and under prepared, the path back was more painful than the trip down. Zappy was panting and stopping every few metres for a rest and I carried him when I could. I kept a watchful eye on Special K, who looked extremely weak, I was no better. Over the dunes, two surfies walked past, the first bloke passed without comment though obviously noticing our status; the second asked if our puppy was alright. I told him we’d run out of water. A helping hand these days is hard to find, so we were taken aback when he gave us some water and carried half our stuff to the car park. I had no intention to resist, his help restored our faith in human decency. We thanked him expressively and wished him a prosperous New Year. He patted me on the shoulder and said ‘find a tap and drink until you’re okay to drive. Happy New Year.’ It will be now, I thought.

We spent a good half an hour refilling and resting. A teary eyed Special K said ‘I’m so glad you were with me, I don’t know what I’d do without you!’ I likened Special K to a sandcastle; visually strong, but crumblingly soft and mushy under pressure. The fact is, we are both unfit, unhealthy and unready for such an idea as ludicrous as what we had undertaken. All I wanted was to find a milk bar and fill up again and I voiced this concern to Special K ‘the best thing for us now is isotonic and water.’ We headed off, back toward Rye and came across a general store on the corner of the round-a-bout. Buying two bottles of Gatorade and a small sampling of sandwiches – they were snapped up in seconds. Following the snack, I had a strange feeling of disorientation…I am never disorientated. I always have a ‘feeling’ which direction north is situated and thus, which direction back to Melbourne. When I turned left at the T intersection ahead, I was expecting to see the bay on my left, not the right. It was not merely a shock, I felt like we were in a different part of Australia.

The heat by now was passing, a cool change looked to strike. But the fact was it was getting late, toward sunset. Every beach along Mornington Peninsula was packed. Every car park full. We parked beside the road, past Rosebud East and had a late lunch along a beach path, under some shade. Zappy was glad of the salmon flesh and basil dip and anyone that looked to walk nearby our vicinity and threaten his pack’s feeding got a little Zappy yappy bark and grumble. ‘Rrrrrr Rrrrrr Yip!’

Special K was rehydrated and feeling well, I felt better after some food and agreed to swim in the bay. We left our belongings atop a fort-like digging, some kids had obviously made. I thought it’d be funny, Zappy could protect the fort. Initially I left him sitting on our beach mat, next to the heavy backpack and he sat there guarding the ‘home’ as Special K and I submerged ourselves. I was thankful for wearing the rashie as it cooled me quicker when the wind blew and I suggested Special K should get one also. As the evening approached, nothing looked more appealing than going home and resting. Lying on the floor, watching the Melbourne fireworks on TV (it really was average compared to Sydney’s extravaganza. Let me elucidate, fireworks are usually only good to see in person, we were watching and saying ‘Oh my god, this is incredible’. Compare that to the shitty and ditsy songs from my home town). We felt extremely tested and worn – so much so, that New Years Eve passed without much inclination to celebrate, though we need not worry about next year, it will be incredible!