boot songs
Following an inability to let go of the inevitable, I felt it was my duty to preserve an image of humour at the resignation of key Rovers from the crew at various periods; these became known as Boot Songs. Most of the time they were quirky examples of how much I remembered when actually put to the test, but sometimes they were pathetically emotional and the audience naturally saw through the wry grin I displayed while performing these songs, to my heart-felt desire to stall time. Though in the nature of humour, particularly with ‘Bad Boy Bubby’, perhaps affluent individuals will be immortalised.
Bad Boy Bubby
(Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice)
Yo! Pick the nose…and flick it!
Bad Boy Bubby (x2)
Alright stop, drop my pants and flash’n
I’ve got less hair and no taste in fashion
Cling wrap holds your breath in tightly
Talk in my sleep almost daily and nightly
Tockley ever flop? Yo! I don’t know
But when I cop a wedgie it cuts off the blood flow
Through my jeans is a stench of smoked ham
Makes every mutha drop across this great land.
Pants. I only wear’em to moon
The coppers in Rye while I’m suck’n down booze
Deadly when I part with some gas
Singes all the hairs off a feral pig’s back
Lager waltz coming back from the bay
Caught by the cops, staggering away.
“There’s not a problem just a warm stubby,
Folks around here call me Bad Boy Bubby!”
Bad Boy Bubby (They call me) (x4)
Now that the fuel is pumping
Josh’ balls squashed in, and his head’s all bumpin’
Back hit the tree, all my bones are break’n
Nearly died, yet I could’ve been fakin’
Burning up calories with a coldie
Four wheeled driving in muddy Narbie
A 20 buck Corolla and magic spray
Nearly rolled the bastard, what a top day.
Rollin’, down my blonde toupee
Leaving Shaddy at the pub in a shocking state
The car was on two wheels when I heard blue squeals
Did you stop? No – I just burned steel!
Hammered on after caution to stop
Hit the handbrake, took the left block
The lights were red
Doh! – Took the ticket from Constable Dog Poo
I was hot in a teddy so teeny
Lying in a spa so searingly steamy
Fellas, and the sieve full of shit
Big John drowned in the spa, lost his dick
Beaten, by a girl playing pool
Jurassic Park’s scary hiding under a stool
Carting with Giggles the game goes to hell
Sold some tooks, all I heard was a yell
Falling on Matt real fast
Struggled with my pants while Dad fell on my arse
Bumhole to bumhole the shit was packed
I’m trying to get away before the wanker jacks
W’s on the cheeks, you know what I mean
I passed out after 2 shots of Beam
“There’s not a problem just a warm stubby,
Folks around here call me Bad Boy Bubby!”
Bad Boy Bubby (They call me) (x4)
Smoke weed, drinkin’ beers then I throw it
I root my brother just in case you didn’t know it
That town where two heads weigh you down
Should be left as a hole in the ground
Riding in rain sliding out and do spills
Pleaseable times with some sexual reels
Conducted an interview with a hell of a Rock Group
Made it sit just perfectly on your lips
Signs float in the bay, stealth of a ninja
Laugh like a Toorak gay, so loud other Rovers say ‘Oh Hun!’
If my mind was a slug, I’d leave streaks on my hand
Kick my pants off, when naked footy’s loose
Hypnotised by the dykes when they lick their juice
“There’s not a problem, NO! a warm stubby,
Folks around here call me Bad Boy Bubby!”
Bad Boy Bubby (They call me)
Bad Boy Bubby (They call me)
Bad Boy Bubby (They call me)
Bad Boy Bubby (They call me)
Yo Matt – You drop your guts, it’s starting to smother
Bad Boy Bubby Too Old
Bad Boy Bubby Too Old Too Old
Bad Boy Bubby Too Old Too Old
Bad Boy Bubby Too Old Too Old
Balls To Squeeze
(Soul to Squeeze – Red Hot Chilli Peppers)
I’ve a got a bad disease,
Up from my legs is where I bleed,
Intoxication it seems,
It’s got me by my balls to squeeze.
Well all the beers for me,
With all the injuries I breed,
An accident I scream, yeah!
It’s time to give up the piss, I’m free.
Where I throw I just don’t know,
I got to, gotta, gotta, let it flow,
When I find a piece of mind,
I’m gonna give you some double-time.
Today I climbed a tree,
It took from me integrity,
Dive from the leaves I bleed,
Into the icy Goulburn stream.
Where I throw I just don’t know,
I got to, gotta, gotta, let it flow,
When I find a piece of mind,
I’m gonna give you some double-time.
LEAD
You’re so stubborn indeed,
Well you’ve got mouthfuls of deeds,
It’s like a packet of seeds,
You plant one and it will breed.
Little Bubby, yeah you’re very sweet,
Let’s go and knock signs off down the street,
Take me Fastbreak, get me really pissed,
I’ll take a hydrant cover that won’t be missed.
Little baby (bubby) yeah you’re very sweet
I pour a lot of pollen mollen on your feet
Take me to the river let me on your shore
I’ll be coming back baby I’ll be coming back for more
Doodle doodle ding a ding a dong dong,
A dingle comma somma donga cong gong ding,
L’I could never give but I would never cover,
We’ll just go and get a rabbit and cremate the little bugger.
Stubbieman
(Spiderman – RAMONES)
Stubbieman x2
Skulls the contents of a VB can ,
Cracks a Tinney any size
Catches things to his surprise
Look-out, here comes the Stubbieman
Is he strong, listen bud
He’s got BAC active blood
Tells us all he’s so cool
Except for DAD, ie. The Fool
It’s him, he is the Stubbieman
In the thrill of the night
On Beam, Soda & Lime
He’s going to the pub
For a beer, just in time
Stubbieman x 2
Reggae-listening Stubbieman
We’re not worthy of his can
He’s a bloke, you understand?!
Look out, he is the Stubbieman
(Lookout!)
Lead
(Let’s go!)
In the thrill of the night
On Beam, Soda & Lime
He’s going to the pub
For a beer, just in time
Stubbieman x 2
Reggae-listening Stubbieman
Four wheel driving is his brand
Jennisser Aniston’s tits he’d love to land
Tell him, as he is the Sir Bastard Dick lug,
Where-ever there’s a beer-mug
You’ll find the Stubbieman, Man!
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