An alien in Alexandra
if there was ever a case for loneliness, this would be it.
situated two hours distance from my wife for four days, in a town where i am the alien, and my bastardised ET communication device back home is woeful to supply some piss-poor reception, AND having learned that my friend and mentor will be leaving in three weeks: this fills me with some sorrow, reflective realisations and an abundant ***-load of alliteration.
i have always had a problem with loss, i have no way to recoup what is missing. i know people who see things so light-heartedly and positively, it pretty much makes me sick. i don’t live in hope, i live in truth and this is how i ride, always. be that a forgotten vestige from years passed or any other element, which makes me feel uncertain of the future. why should this hold so much value? it’s a knowing that when this friend was here, i knew the network was safe. i trust him, our tssp, my friend. this school loses far more than a great resource, they will lose a valued man of skill and integrity, the likes i wish i could measure up to, let alone verbalise without stammering.
when he told me he received a positive confirmation of the job interview he attended months earlier, it was shock at first. then i thought about where he was going in life and that this avenue could lead to a far more prosperous future, than the short-end of the stick STs carry. i could understand the desire to work in one job only and not travel constantly, though he said he liked the drives, nobody can do it for long; with all the different schools he attends, he’s driving as much as my undertaking each week.
am i wasting time driving, when that time could be better spent working as a tssp doing four schools a week additionally? what have i learned in the past year? sometimes i feel like i just fix things, patch-ups if you will and don’t move forward. am i alone in this thought, or are there other tech’s who see this too? they are decent people out here in the hume, their distance measured by humility; though i daresay I remain as a statistical outlier.
all i know, is that the dynamic has shifted and as the earth moves, nothing stays the same. i will miss the stupid puns, which usually made me cringe and look for a reason to avoid choking him and hope to the god of cpus that i don’t repeat any to another poor listener, who will also find themselves inevitably humming some ditty a few years later only to have an earworm of biblical proportions, a mind-exploding logic-loop and a possible aneurysm with a cherry on top.
